Roller Coaster – Searching for Stability

“I’m aware of the high and the low. I’ll be waiting for you in the middle, but I just lack control.” – Bradley Nowell

      Since my graduating month of high school my life has been a complicated mess of twists, turns, highs and lows. My mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health have all been for a ride.  I have had many successes and failures in relationships, academics, finances, and more.  And through it all, all I really wanted was stability – some place in the middle to call home.  Nobody likes the lows and sometimes the highs can be just as scary.

      Then something happened – I inadvertently adopted a new worldview, one that I think could only come through experience.  For the last several months, I have been climbing, and the year before I had been falling; but now, as effectual as my circumstances still are on my life, I have become more concerned with my effect on the world than its effect on me.

      The inadvertent realization I came to is that I do lack a great deal of control.  Of all that happens to me, there are many things I have no control over nor should I, because that area is meant to be controlled by someone or something else.  To think about it In the legal sense, it is a matter of jurisdiction.  So, worrying about that which I cannot control is a waste of time and a disease of focus.

      I have written before about how focus determines my reality but would like to add that focusing on what I can control, in good times or bad, leads to my success.  My life might fall into despair, I might not be where I want to be in life, my loved ones’ health might decline, or more.  In contrast, life might throw wonderful treasures and joys my way, but all I need to worry about is that which is within my control – the unique and very important decisions (large and small) of everyday life for which I have been entrusted.  I must value the challenges I am meant to confront and disregard those I am not.  In focusing on such, my life is stable, peaceful, and successful – always, despite the highs and the lows.